750: And You Can Count...

So, when I mentioned that rocket-sled yesterday, I meant it.

Free-writing is a jet-fueled, crudely directed disastermobile, and I can think of no better way to force myself into a regular position of rapid fire ridiculousness than to just let the keyboard work its magic. What you are about to ignore is yet another column idea, spawned from that wonderful beehive of aimless ambition that is the core of NRDLNGR. You want content? You want to read something so damn bad, you don’t care what it is? No? Well... I don’t know what to tell you. Go back to pounding refresh on Facebook.

For those of you still here, welcome to what I am calling 750. Someone much more organized and disciplined than I suggested each person should write 750 words each day to better themselves. I liked the idea, and it is something I have tried to incorporate into my personal routine. At a certain point, the obvious struck me: I created a venue to capture my inane ramblings, yet I never produce content for it. Why not apply the same attitude toward it as I have toward myself?

Each day, I will find something, anything, related to the broad scope of nerdery and just unload on it. If it comes into my brain, it’s going on the site. No concise wording. No exemplification of craft. Just good old fashioned rambling crap crammed into your eye sockets. If I finish up my thoughts before the 750 mark, I’ll just find a way to keep going. God only knows what will come out of it, but I will not stop. If I go over? My first inclination is to just cut off right at the word count, but I may try to clean things up in post as to make something readable. I guess it just depends on how I feel and what seems to work best.

At first glance, this is the complete antithesis of what NRDLNGR stood for. When I started, I wanted clear, tightly-written articles emphasizing ideas over content. The Internet is filled with opinionated crap, and NRDLNGR was to hold itself to something better. I didn’t want content for content’s sake. Let me be clear, I still believe in that. However, my own tendencies began to work against me and kept anything from getting done. Precision became perfection, and perfection became a barrier.

My hope is to use this column to break down that barrier. As I move into the consistent day-to-day writing, I hope to generate a momentum I can carry into a more complete realization of what I would like NRDLNGR to be. I hope to make this the foundation of something I can be proud of. At the very least, it will be something, which is a whole hell of a lot more than what has been going on around here.

Rest assured, this is not the only step I have planned in getting this rusted word-wagon moving again. The second step is something I have toyed with in my mind for some time, yet have never fully committed myself to until now. The world of live-streaming is nothing new. Bored or narcissistic people have been broadcasting their every waking moment for some time now. I’m bored. I’m narcissistic.

I want in.

At least one night a week, I want to produce something for the unruly Internet masses to shit all over while they’re bored at home. Ok, my goal is not to produce something terrible, but, to be honest, I really am not too sure what I make will stand up to what others are doing. The live-stream community looks like an easy one to break into, but I am almost certain it is not. Also, my production equipment is mediocre at best, so what gets made will undoubtedly look like it had been produced by a toddler. So be it. If NRDLNGR’s content becomes the RC Cola of the Internet, is that really such a bad thing? How many Americans accidentally ingest RC Cola annually? Ten? 20? If I can get 20 people to tell me NRDLNGR’s a piece of shit, I think that’s a pretty solid win.

Whatever will be will be, and what will be is more. More words. More stuff. More something.

And now, an oldie, but a goodie, courtesy of The Onion:

Onlookers were amazed by the copious amounts of blood. Onlookers were amazed by the copious amounts of blood. Onlookers were amazed by the copious amounts

Um... Yeah, About That...

Hey.

Been a while, hasn't it? I wish I had a good answer for you as to why I never write anything, even when I have so many functional ideas floating around in my fickle consciousness. I think some of it is dreaming bigger than my means, which causes my perfectionist tendencies to shoot myself down even before take-off. Another part of it comes from my easily-distracted...

Where was I?

Oh, now I remember. I was making stupid excuses. That should stop. So, here goes a shot at crushing my excuses and making something resembling a decent attempt at generating some stupid nerdy crap for you to sink your mind-teeth into. I'm gonna do my best to make the most of my fledgling nerd-hovel. I have staked my digital claim to 'NRDLNGR,' and I want to do the name proud.

First off is more rapid-fire writing. My journalism professors would strangle every ounce of life from me if they heard me say that, but I need to move with the shifting tides. Will my writing suffer because of it? Probably not. I really don't think I could make my writing any worse, so why spend time worrying about it? I mean, what fun is a slow-moving train wreck? So, get ready for a questionably articulated rocket-sled of nonsense coming right at you.

Next is multimedia. While I was half kidding about my crash-and-burn writing mentality, I really do think this one will end in some sort of flaming wreckage. I have zero background in sound engineering, video editing, or basic human social skills. Sufficed to say, the unholy union of these things and more will either make for some of the most unintentionally entertaining stuff out there or become one of the many so-bad-it's-bad pieces of work left to rot in the digital wastes. My hope is to get some live streams up since they seem to require little back-end work. Now, my recording equipment is, well, anything I have on hand. If this seems to work well, I might consider investing in some, but for now, it's whatever I find in my apartment. Think of it as being quaint in a world that has no room for the quaint.

I guess I look at this as a change of mindset for myself and NRDLNGR. I started with the focus on not screwing up. Now I just want to wreck it for my own entertainment.

And yours, too.

So get ready for some concentrated half-assery, because when you're too small to fail, there's nowhere to go but up...

Fourplay: Q and You

Let's kick this off with an exercise. I'm going to list a bunch of common video game actions, and I want you to name what key you would instinctively press to make it happen.

Oh, if you haven't figured it out already, I'm talking about keyboard controls. You can set the controller aside for this one.

Ready? Press a key to:

• Open a door
• Pick up an object from the ground
• Search a downed enemy
• Flip a switch
• Press a button
• Talk to someone
• Examine an item

So, what did you hit? E, right? The E key is the action button, the 'use' key, the go-to input for interaction between the player and the environment. If you're not shooting it, punching it, or blowing it up, you're pressing E to manipulate it in some way. Now, this fact alone could spur endless debate in terms of game design and interactivity, but that's not where I'm taking this. No, I bring it up simply to point out that E is far and away the key you're using most to do things (movement notwithstanding, naysayer in the back).

Why does this matter? Quite simply, E is the go-to because of where it sits on your keyboard. In a WASD position, there are few keys easier to hit than E. Yet, even with all these things we map to E, an equally viable key is nearly ignored when it comes time to set controls. Yeah, you know the one...

Or maybe you don't.

Exercise number two. Hunt down your five most played games on PC. Steam should let you sort that, but if not, or heaven forbid you aren't using Steam, just use your best judgement. Got your five? Now, tell me what happens in those games when you hit Q. It's ok. Take your time. Hell, I'm writing this damn thing and it still took me a minute to remember what it did in two games.

If E is the key we're using most, why isn't Q the key we're using second-most? I cannot, for the life of me, make heads or tails of it. Does it stem from decades past PC design where Q was used to quit programs? Maybe. I really don't know. Whatever the reason, Q is underutilized, which makes it a great place to start when messing with your keybindings.

Believe it or not, re-mapping Q can salvage what may otherwise be an unplayable or frustrating game. Take Borderlands. Melee attacks can be life-or-death in a clutch, but are difficult to pull off on the fly when a physical disability prevents rapid shifting of hand positions. To go from movement-by-touch with the left thumb to hunting down V (the default key) and back again is a nightmare. You have to stop moving, which is a naughty no-no in shooters. Re-map melee attacks to Q, and see how it changes things. I rush with W, and simply slide my thumb left to strike. I don't even need to let off W. All well and good, but what do we do with Q's old mapping? In this case, absolutely nothing. Borderlands doesn't map anything to Q. It's prime real estate completely ignored.

So, what should you be mapping to Q? Anything, really. Q is a great key for actions that pair well with movement. If you can comfortably stop in a game while hunting down the key, what you're looking to do probably doesn't need to be on Q. For me, I tend to play with default controls for a bit til I identify the single key I repeatedly find myself fishing for. If it's more useful to me than what Q is doing, I swap them. A lot of it is trial-and-error.

I was gun-shy about changing keybindings at first, but found Q to be a great, safe place to start. Even for the able-bodied of you out there, consider using Q as a stepping stone toward becoming comfortable with switching up controls. You may be of the mindset that 'developer knows best,' but that is a fallacy. The simple truth is you will always know better. Don't be afraid to wreck up the place once you find yourself comfortable with switching things around. You can always change them back if you take it too far.

Don't let E have all the fun. Make Q work for you. You'd be surprised how much fun you can salvage from frustration.

Half-Life 2 Fear Journal - Part 0: Knowing the Unknown

"There's a headcrab around that corner."

Those were the last words I uttered to Half-Life 2.

*   *   *

I am almost never affected by horror films. I don't know if it's an inability to suspend disbelief or a general desensitization to media violence, but I've always found the genre to be more comedic than frightening. Of the dozens of horror flicks I have seen, only one has really gotten under my skin. I react more to the disturbing nature of something than the types of fear shilled by the typical Halloween movie season.

Games are different. Games scare the shit out of me.

Fourplay: You Just Got Beat by a...

I have always been competitive when it comes to video games. I can let just about every other adversarial activity slide without a second glance, but something inside me demands my best once you set a controller in my hands. Maybe it's because games are something I'm good at, so I demand to be better. I'm not the best, but I feel like I hold my own. I would wager I sit in the 80th percentile of 'general player ability' when spread across all genres. I say this not to brag. I bring it up because there is a fact often neglected when considering my skill of play, a truth no one on the other end realizes when I lap them in a race or capture their flag.

I am a quadriplegic.

Dirt 3, Games for Windows, and the Meaning of Progress

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on Games for Windows as a sample for a job application. It centered around a small pet peeve in GFW Live integration in Codemasters' exceptional rally racer, Dirt 3. A few things have changed since then and now, making the old piece slightly outdated. Even so, the problem persists.

And it all starts with a triangle...

Logo-a-Go-Go

You can't be iconic without an icon. I present to you the new logo for NRDLNGR:

Simple, with a nice rough edge. It really speaks for itself, so I'll leave it to it. Let us know what you think.